Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Rishikesh Romance, Mr. Right...Now




I arrived in Mumbai excited for my cousin's wedding and completely ready for my potential arranged marriage (I had even picked out a beautiful Indian wedding outfit and trimmed down under), just to find out that women here are empowered now. At least in Mumbai, and in fact, they are so empowered that many women in their 30s are still waiting for the “right one.”  Shit!!!!!  They've caught the "right one" disease too.  I knew I was in trouble. Not only do people not care if their own female children get hitched, they DEFINITELY don’t care if I do.  I left Mumbai with a subtle sad face in my heart. L
We arrived in Rishikesh on Friday night.  The next day we went to a beautiful cafĂ© overlooking the Ganga River. We sat down next to a blond guy, who, at first, I thought was German. He later told me he thought my cousin, Ashish (who is gay) and I were an Indian couple visiting this holy place.  Yeah, everyone thinks Ashish and I are a married couple from India. They obviously lack gaydar here.  Well, since there “aren’t any gay people in India,” I guess it makes sense.  Indians look at me and ask “husband?” about Ashish.  It’s very entertaining.  
I have enlightened my Indian cousins about a few crucial things they have clearly been missing out on. The most important one is facebook stalking. My cousin Tina who is totally stunning with a super thick Indian accent had no idea what the word stalking was and didn’t even understand the concept.  Ashish told her I have major stalking potential in which I replied, “Yeah, but I stalk for fun, not to kill.” IMPORTANT distinction! 
Back to the “German.” His name ended up being Moksha. He was from Vermont. We asked him if there was a good palm reader or astrologer around. Moksha didn’t know of any legit ones. I asked him if he’d read my palm. I was pretty impressed with his bullshit palm reading abilities. He spoke about how I need to trust, which, for those who know me know that’s a huge issue.
Ashish said he felt instant chemistry with Moksha and me. I was charmed by his energy and love of Rishikesh. He was charmed by my Windian (half white, half Indian) ways. We ended up hanging out for the next three days with Ashish as our chaperone.  It was beautiful. He was trying to get over his ex and obviously I am trying to get over mine. It was the perfect relationship. Love without any attachment. Although the first night, he went into this detailed three-year plan between us ending in marriage and children. Luckily, for both of us, by the next day he had come to his senses (there’s something super romantic about that place – it’s so easy to get caught up.) Moksha realized what this relationship served for both of us, which didn’t involve a future. Phew!! I could go back to completely enjoying the moment and letting my heart fully open without scrutinizing the shit out of him, which I am totally guilty of in “real” relationships.
My experience with Moksha was life changing.  He helped me do a gratitude ceremony to release the past and while I lit the candles and placed them in the Ganga, he chanted “swaha” and “om gum ganapateyei namaha.” We shared our lives with each other.  For him, I will be forever grateful. He was the perfect template. 
I realized that if I focus on being present, if I let my heart open, if I trust, if I simply love the other person, then there is no reason that a relationship can’t be easy and happy.
Here’s to hoping and wishing!
Hope Sahijwani