Rishikesh Romance, Mr. Right...Now

I arrived in Mumbai excited for my cousin's wedding and completely ready for my potential arranged marriage (I had even picked out a beautiful Indian wedding outfit and trimmed down under), just to find out that women here are empowered now. At least in Mumbai, and in fact, they are so empowered that many women in their 30s are still waiting for the “right one.”  Shit!!!!!  They've caught the "right one" disease too.  I knew I was in trouble. Not only do people not care if their own female children get hitched, they DEFINITELY don’t care if I do.  I left Mumbai with a subtle sad face in my heart. L

We arrived in Rishikesh on Friday night.  The next day we went to a beautiful café overlooking the Ganga River. We sat down next to a blond guy, who, at first, I thought was German. He later told me he thought my cousin, Ashish (who is gay) and I were an Indian couple visiting this holy place.  Yeah, everyone thinks Ashish and I are a married couple from India. They obviously lack gaydar here.  Well, since there “aren’t any gay people in India,” I guess it makes sense.  Indians look at me and ask “husband?” about Ashish.  It’s very entertaining.  

I have enlightened my Indian cousins about a few crucial things they have clearly been missing out on. The most important one is facebook stalking. My cousin Tina who is totally stunning with a super thick Indian accent had no idea what the word stalking was and didn’t even understand the concept.  Ashish told her I have major stalking potential in which I replied, “Yeah, but I stalk for fun, not to kill.” IMPORTANT distinction! 

Back to the “German.” His name ended up being Moksha. He was from Vermont. We asked him if there was a good palm reader or astrologer around. Moksha didn’t know of any legit ones. I asked him if he’d read my palm. I was pretty impressed with his bullshit palm reading abilities. He spoke about how I need to trust, which, for those who know me know that’s a huge issue.

Ashish said he felt instant chemistry with Moksha and me. I was charmed by his energy and love of Rishikesh. He was charmed by my Windian (half white, half Indian) ways. We ended up hanging out for the next three days with Ashish as our chaperone.  It was beautiful. He was trying to get over his ex and obviously I am trying to get over mine. It was the perfect relationship. Love without any attachment. Although the first night, he went into this detailed three-year plan between us ending in marriage and children. Luckily, for both of us, by the next day he had come to his senses (there’s something super romantic about that place – it’s so easy to get caught up.) Moksha realized what this relationship served for both of us, which didn’t involve a future. Phew!! I could go back to completely enjoying the moment and letting my heart fully open without scrutinizing the shit out of him, which I am totally guilty of in “real” relationships.

My experience with Moksha was life changing.  He helped me do a gratitude ceremony to release the past and while I lit the candles and placed them in the Ganga, he chanted “swaha” and “om gum ganapateyei namaha.” We shared our lives with each other.  For him, I will be forever grateful. He was the perfect template. 

I realized that if I focus on being present, if I let my heart open, if I trust, if I simply love the other person, then there is no reason that a relationship can’t be easy and happy.

Here’s to hoping and wishing!

Hope Sahijwani

From Across the Pond

I leave today to visit my homeland, India. Say it with an Indian accent. “I leave today to visit my homeland.” Everything is so much more fun with an Indian accent!

I’m going to my cousin’s wedding. It’s kind of interesting that my roots come from a place in which women, for a very long time, had no choice in whom they married. And even now, arranged marriages happen. Can you imagine having to marry someone who repulses you?? Siting next to them on a plane for a few hours is bad enough! Maybe on some level I’m rebelling from all of that powerlessness.  I’ve taken that to an extreme, of course, and now when the first issue arises in my relationships, I want out immediately. Some call it flaky, yogis call it vata, most people call it insane!

I’m sitting on the airplane reflecting about everything that has occurred in the past few weeks. I am excited to get some (more like a lot of) distance for a little while.

I found myself exchanging numbers with another 24 year old in Starbucks. Rory totally caught me. I was meeting her at 8:00 am for tea before work to chat and she walked right in on the egregious act. She rolled her eyes and said he was cute.  Exchanging numbers with a cute boy at 8am IS a really nice way to start the day. I highly suggest it! Although it was the dead of winter, I had a little spring in my step for the rest of the day.  I am not sure what is up with Starbucks, 24 year olds and me. It must be the perfect masala J

Anyway, he is very cute, but totally unreliable and undependable, and the new powerful me just can’t handle that. Sorry 24, moving on. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

I have a few intentions for my trip to India. The first intention is to connect with the amazing goddess Saraswati. She is the guardian of the Ganges River and helps us to connect with music, creativity, the flow of life! My teacher Rhiona also mentioned something about the full moon, lots of planets and huge energy while I’m there. Pretty exciting. My other intention is to finally get over my ex boyfriend. Finally and permanently.  I can’t get him out of my head. It’s almost as bad as having that song “I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes” in my head. I’m sorry, now you'll have it in your head. Dammit. It’s pretty bad. You know it’s bad when your friends are sending you Huffington Post articles about how sleeping with your ex is never a good idea.  My friends realize I won’t listen to them, but perhaps, I’ll listen to Arianna Huffington.

I have a phone number for a hot Mumbai FC soccer player. Maybe I need to be forced into marriage. Maybe I need to think breaking up isn’t an option. Maybe my cousin won’t be the only one getting married…

Breaking up and breaking hearts, but open to changing my ways,

Asha Pasha

I'm Back!

Brett Favre, Michael Jordan and even Muhammed Ali are some of the world's greats, and like them (yes, I am comparing myself to the greats), I have come back out of retirement. I really believed I was retiring from singledom forever. Well single life, looks like you just can't shake me.  

This time I am trying out the online dating experience. It's been mildly painful, slightly awkward and very entertaining. Men, if you are reading this, I have some suggestions for you. If you are putting up a profile, then remember unless you are Manti Te'o, we are probably going to meet. You might want your pictures to reflect what you look like NOW, not five years ago when you were hot and in shape. One of my gentleman callers had the audacity to write that he was fit and attractive. That should've been the HUGE red flag. Who writes that anyway?? Well, surprise, surprise, he looked pregnant. If you describe yourself as fit and attractive, you might want to be. I don't know, call me crazy. Also, if your profile says you have two children, you should have two children, not four. "Oops, forgot about those other two!" Really??

This time being single feels different. I'm in my 30s now, thankfully Saturn returned and I somehow survived and had "many opportunities to grow" (aka, very shitty, painful times). I am much more confident and I have my ex-boyfriend, Steve, to thank for for that. Although our relationship was challenging (we know what that means - very shitty, painful times!), I gained so much wisdom. I have never felt so beautiful in my whole life. All those times singing Christina Aguilera "You're So Beautiful" and hours of standing in the mirror naked telling myself, despite my inner critic, "I Am Gorgeous" "My Body Is Gorgeous" "I Am Worthy Of LOVE", was finally reflected back to me. I had someone who could see the beauty within me. I could wear sweat pants and no make up and still feel like a hottie goddess. I hope one day someone is able to do that for him. He deserves it. 

I'm taking a new approach to dating, I trust myself, I feel confident, like Alicia Keys sings...THIS "girl is on FIRE!"

Hose me down, baby, P Roxy is back!