Sunday, March 21, 2010

I'll Never Love Again

"I'lI Never Love Again" Hand's down one of the world's greatest break up quotes by my friend Isabel that now, years later, we totally make fun of her about. This line epitomizes about a year of a break up disaster. Her ex boyfriend treated her like crap. If you treat my friend like she's your least favorite shoes, I will take you down.
So, back to "I'll Never Love Again" girl, she now has a fabulous boyfriend that most single women covet, including yours truly.
It's so easy for us to get sucked into the drama of a break up. This drama of hers wreaked havoc on our lives. It ruined many what could have been amazing Market St Grille brunches, wasted with tears over Asperger. Ew. Not only the brunches, but the 2am crying phone calls. I think I gained a wrinkle during that time. The wrinkle created by this break up needed to be eradicated immediately. I bought the most expensive "wrinkle not" cream. Isabel, I think you should pay for it. I'm almost 30, a youthful face is imperative for maintaining my puma status.
Recently, I found myself falling for the 24 year old. Yes, my friends called me the phony blog writer for going back after swearing "never going back again."
As I finally ended it with 24, I thought I might never find anyone as interesting, adorable and lovable as him and then I remembered Isabel's line "I'll Never Love Again" and brought to mind her awesome, loving, new boyfriend and thought "yeah, I'll be fine."
To all you beautiful people who need to end it, but fear you'll "Never Love Again," you will and it'll be even better. Remember, "It Must've Been Love", but it sure as hell is over now.
To quote Tom Petty, "It's time to move on. Time to get going. What lies ahead I have no way of knowing. Under my feet, baby, grass is growing. Time to move on. Time to get going." To letting go and starting fresh.
Happy Spring,
~P. Roxy

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Can Anybody Find Me Somebody To Love??

Queen put it so succinctly when they sang "Can anybody find me somebody to love?" Their emphasis on those seven words connects us clearly to that deep longing. "Oh Lord. Somebody, somebody. Can anybody find meeeee somebody toooooo looooove?"

Finding love, finding a partner, finding a soulmate can feel like an uphill battle. Almost as as painful as paying off a christmas credit card bill. Call me the modern day Erin Brockovich, except my fight is for love, for partnership, for a soulmate and I won't settle. After writing down the qualities that I am looking for in a partner and realizing that 27 might be a bit much, I looked inward. Do I even possess these qualities? Then, I remembered during my last break up, my very soon to be ex-boyfriend declaring "So, you want to date yourself?" Holy hell. Was he right? Am I that fabulous? Maybe Jackie's dad's words "Don't settle" have become too cemented in my brain. He was drunk and he did say it about a hundred times. Wow, I didn't realize "don't settle" was such a powerful sanskrit mantra.

As if hearing from my family members every time I see them "are you dating someone?" wasn't downright stressful enough, add in living with my family members - my parents. The high point of my life came when my father, in his Indian accent, called me out and claimed "you are no spring chicken." Now say it to yourself in an Indian accent. Yes, it does sound worse because it sounds true. OUCH!! Yeah dad, by the way, that's because you totally cock block me. I adored one guy; one evening he so sweetly came in to meet my parents - the important word here is meet, that means first time ever. Ohhhh, I learned my lesson. "Dad, this is John, John this is my dad." "Oh hey John, great to meet you, can't wait to meet your parents." Screech. Yes, the record stopped. LOUDLY. Umm, yeah, that was the last time he met my parents. Now, I tell men who so kindly pick me up at my parents' that I'll come out to meet them - down the street!

The best is when I walk in to my parents' in the morning. My mom asks "Where were you?" "Oh I slept at Rory's" "Oh you sleep there a lot, doesn't her boyfriend care?" Another one of her famous lines besides "You are too picky" is "When are you going to find someone?" AHHHHH. I don't know Mom maybe when they make men as cool as me, sooo probably not anytime soon.

Brett Dennen said it best, "Follow your heart and you won't get lost." I have made a vow to follow my heart, to find someone who "completes me" in the fullest sense of the word, to not settle.

May all you goddesses live from your heart, follow your truth, and always remember you won't get lost. And embodying the spirit of Cleopatra, don't settle. Wait for your Mark Antony; he'll be worth it.
Oh, and if you find me somebody to love, call me.
~P. Roxy